When I went out of town this weekend, my sister and my godmother watched Cydney. I had very long day Sunday so my godmother stayed until yesterday. Seeing that I was visibly tired, she sat me down to see what’s going on with me. I told her last night was a sleepless night. She asked me what was on my mind, and I honestly couldn’t even tell her.
She told me to sit down and she took my blood pressure. She said it was slightly high. I told her that a couple of times last week I had been having chest pains. I wasn’t surprised. If anything, I was surprised it was only slightly high.
The last three years I’ve been running. Once thing after another and not really taking care of myself. Its common for men to do so and whatever is going on internally to just eat you up on the inside.
A couple of years ago, Timile and Cydney demanded a lot of me. Timile wouldn’t say too much to me about me running ragged but she recognized it. A few weeks ago a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of a conversation they had with Timile. They told her how we went to high school together, they met once, and that she was praying for her. Timile responded thank you but to pray for me. She continued to say that I’m going through a lot between work and taking care of her. It really made me feel a certain way I hadn’t felt in a long time. It felt like although she was gone, she still got it and the message was on time.
I bring this up because the people who take the most from you recognize it. Since I’ve been back from the weekend I think Cydney has recognized it too. My little girl is always trying to take care of me, but I’ve never been “Daddy” so much. She’s been following me around, giving me really big and long hugs and telling me she loves me. They all mean well, but know they have to rely on it. Whoever I’m writing this for feeling a similar way, just know it’ll be alright and it’ll show up for you soon.
